You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
