let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
