Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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