Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
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I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
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Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize