okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
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I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
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She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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