these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.