apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.