I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
