he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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