Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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