That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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