At least make sure they are 18
Why
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
