I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
