once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
