Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
