Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize