Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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