When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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