Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Do you still have your period?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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