Small penises have feelings too.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
