I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize