He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
