I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
