No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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