I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize
