is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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