Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
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