it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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