I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
