I would go down on you faster than GM stock
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
