SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I AM VODKA MAN
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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