yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
