I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
