Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Hippo gnu deer
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
