Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
