So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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