there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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