Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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