I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
