Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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