I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
