I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
