Got a toothbrush?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
