So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
