i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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