they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
