I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
