i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
organizing the empties. That sober.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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