There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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