It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
