You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
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obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
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I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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