i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
