I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize