Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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