Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
