He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
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Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.