Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.