I think this conversation is over.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.