I want to stick my p in your. b.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
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The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
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I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka