He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
